I just don't care about writing in this right now. I go through periods of thinking I should document things that happen because I will totally forget them, versus the fact that I hate telling people something that happens with the kids in real life, and then they're like "Oh I already read that in your blog". Because I have no idea who actually reads this and who doesn't, I don't want to put a disclaimer on my statements like "Did you read my blog about..." because that sounds real dorky and loserish to the people who don't read it.
I'll get back to it sometime. Or not. Whatever.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wist surgery day
Typing not mycg of an option oday. So blog will resume when my hand is not jacked up. I'm not editing the typos. Ouch.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
And today I smell like olive oil
I really, really, really hate yardwork. No, I don't, actually. Let me amend that to say "I really, really, really hate yardwork when I also have to watch three kids."
I wouldn't mind yardwork if I didn't have to stop every two seconds to yell at a kid. "Get out of the street!" "Don't eat those berries! They're poisonous!" "Don't ride your trike down the hill!" (That last one is a real scary one, considering our driveway is a hill of death.)
Our lot is really strange. We live in a ravine. Pretty much, the roof of our house is at street level. We have the steep, scary driveway, and our front yard consists of a huge multi-leved limestone terraced flower bed that faces our house. It would really be a beautiful feature if someone had the time and/or energy and/or motivation to deal with it, but I don't so it looks like crap.
So anyway, I put off yardwork pretty much all summer. Mario did some barebones mowing, but otherwise, we let the weeds take over. We live on a wooded lot, so a weed filled flowerbed pretty much just blends in with the surroundings (at least that's what I tell myself to justify my laziness)
But yesterday I decided to finally attack the weeds, or at least clear them away enough to make way for the new mulch. What we do at our house of 8 gazillion oak trees is shred the leaves with the mower and use the shredded leaves for mulch in the flower beds(this year we got a leaf shredder so I'm actually kind of excited about that) I'm very happy with the oak leaf mulch idea because it is super free, we don't have to worry about disposing of our leaves, and if more leaves get blown into the flower beds during the winter, I don't have to rake them out in the spring. They match!
I pulled out the dead day lillies and hostas and weeds in about half of the terraced area. I was trying to untangle the vines and vines of wild black raspberry that grows everywhere and it was making me crazy. It was all looped into these awful thorny bushes the previous owner planted. Those bushes kept grabbing at me and finally I just grabbed the hacksaw and cut them all down. I felt very she-woman, but I know they'll just grow back to torment me next year.
Today I cleared out the other half, and it sucked. Whoever planned out the terracing was real stupid because there is no way to access most of this without doing some billygoat-ish type of climbing. Anyway, with my climbing, I climbed headfirst into a big cockleburr plant.
My whole head was covered in burrs, but I kept going. I knew if I stopped that I would never go back out to finish it so I just kept going, Medusa hair and all. A couple of hours later, I finally called it quits and went in to take a shower.
Those little suckers (literally) wouldn't come out! My head was a bird's nest of burrs and matted hair. I was very frustrated and near tears, and this close to just grabbing the scissors and going for the Kate Gosselin look when I decided to check online for other options.
There were many sites about getting burrs out of hair...no make that fur. It talked a lot about dogs with burrs, but I figured it was probably good enough. They recommeneded olive oil. So I oiled up my hair, and the burrs came out like that. Awesome. I rewashed my hair again, but I still kind of smell like olive oil. My Sicilian husband is bound to find me irresistable, eh?
I wouldn't mind yardwork if I didn't have to stop every two seconds to yell at a kid. "Get out of the street!" "Don't eat those berries! They're poisonous!" "Don't ride your trike down the hill!" (That last one is a real scary one, considering our driveway is a hill of death.)
Our lot is really strange. We live in a ravine. Pretty much, the roof of our house is at street level. We have the steep, scary driveway, and our front yard consists of a huge multi-leved limestone terraced flower bed that faces our house. It would really be a beautiful feature if someone had the time and/or energy and/or motivation to deal with it, but I don't so it looks like crap.
So anyway, I put off yardwork pretty much all summer. Mario did some barebones mowing, but otherwise, we let the weeds take over. We live on a wooded lot, so a weed filled flowerbed pretty much just blends in with the surroundings (at least that's what I tell myself to justify my laziness)
But yesterday I decided to finally attack the weeds, or at least clear them away enough to make way for the new mulch. What we do at our house of 8 gazillion oak trees is shred the leaves with the mower and use the shredded leaves for mulch in the flower beds(this year we got a leaf shredder so I'm actually kind of excited about that) I'm very happy with the oak leaf mulch idea because it is super free, we don't have to worry about disposing of our leaves, and if more leaves get blown into the flower beds during the winter, I don't have to rake them out in the spring. They match!
I pulled out the dead day lillies and hostas and weeds in about half of the terraced area. I was trying to untangle the vines and vines of wild black raspberry that grows everywhere and it was making me crazy. It was all looped into these awful thorny bushes the previous owner planted. Those bushes kept grabbing at me and finally I just grabbed the hacksaw and cut them all down. I felt very she-woman, but I know they'll just grow back to torment me next year.
Today I cleared out the other half, and it sucked. Whoever planned out the terracing was real stupid because there is no way to access most of this without doing some billygoat-ish type of climbing. Anyway, with my climbing, I climbed headfirst into a big cockleburr plant.
My whole head was covered in burrs, but I kept going. I knew if I stopped that I would never go back out to finish it so I just kept going, Medusa hair and all. A couple of hours later, I finally called it quits and went in to take a shower.
Those little suckers (literally) wouldn't come out! My head was a bird's nest of burrs and matted hair. I was very frustrated and near tears, and this close to just grabbing the scissors and going for the Kate Gosselin look when I decided to check online for other options.
There were many sites about getting burrs out of hair...no make that fur. It talked a lot about dogs with burrs, but I figured it was probably good enough. They recommeneded olive oil. So I oiled up my hair, and the burrs came out like that. Awesome. I rewashed my hair again, but I still kind of smell like olive oil. My Sicilian husband is bound to find me irresistable, eh?
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
I will no longer be asking my husband to hit me with books.
For about 3 years, I've had a bump on my wrist. A trip to the doctor told me that it is called a ganglion cyst. Pretty much, it's like a fluid filled marble in my wrist joint.
And that's exactly what it feels like---having a marble in your wrist. Imagine that scenario, if you will. Pretty much most of the time, it doesn't hurt. But if I try to bend my wrist back, or put any pressure on my wrist, it hurts like a motherfudger (that actually sounds dirtier than motherfucker, if you think about it).
So the advice my doctor had was "Don't bend your wrist back, or put any pressure on your wrist." Fair enough. There have been times when I thought maybe pushups would be a good cheap sort of exercise to do, but I get to skip out on that idea due to the incredible pain that would put on my wrist. I like yoga a lot, but good lord, that is pretty much the worst thing in the world to do with a bum wrist. It's like pushups on and off for 60 minutes because every vinyasa makes me want to cut my hand off. I have to skip out on all the fun party trick stuff like hand balances.
I've been to the doctor twice to have it drained (which is as gross as it sounds). It came back both times.
And I've harassed people to hit me with a book many a time over the years.
People are really afraid to hit me with a book. People are just way too nice, and they dont' want to hurt other people, I guess. I would have no issues with hitting someone with a book if they asked me too, but I guess I'm just mean.
Mario has, upon my request, hit me a bunch of times and it only worked once. I was telling him that I was telling a girl at the gym about how I wanted someone to pop this thing on my wrist by beating me with a book, and about how Mario was too afraid to do it hard enough because he didn't want to hurt me. So she said she would do it, since she didn't really like me that much anyway (I think she was kidding. Maybe not) So I told Mario I found someone else, and he got jealous, and was like "Get a book."
So I did and BAM! he smashed it. It popped and god oh god oh god oh god did it hurt. We totally should have videotaped that moment.
But it came back, and I'm mad and going for the surgery on it. It's going to suck, but that stupid ganglion cyst has been bugging me for too long and that little bastard has to go.
My main issue with the surgery is that it is going to leave a pretty bad-ass scar on my hand. I have to come up with some more interesting story about how I got the scar than the real story. Probably it will have something to do about how I escaped my punishment for thievery in the Middle East.
And that's exactly what it feels like---having a marble in your wrist. Imagine that scenario, if you will. Pretty much most of the time, it doesn't hurt. But if I try to bend my wrist back, or put any pressure on my wrist, it hurts like a motherfudger (that actually sounds dirtier than motherfucker, if you think about it).
So the advice my doctor had was "Don't bend your wrist back, or put any pressure on your wrist." Fair enough. There have been times when I thought maybe pushups would be a good cheap sort of exercise to do, but I get to skip out on that idea due to the incredible pain that would put on my wrist. I like yoga a lot, but good lord, that is pretty much the worst thing in the world to do with a bum wrist. It's like pushups on and off for 60 minutes because every vinyasa makes me want to cut my hand off. I have to skip out on all the fun party trick stuff like hand balances.
I've been to the doctor twice to have it drained (which is as gross as it sounds). It came back both times.
And I've harassed people to hit me with a book many a time over the years.
People are really afraid to hit me with a book. People are just way too nice, and they dont' want to hurt other people, I guess. I would have no issues with hitting someone with a book if they asked me too, but I guess I'm just mean.
Mario has, upon my request, hit me a bunch of times and it only worked once. I was telling him that I was telling a girl at the gym about how I wanted someone to pop this thing on my wrist by beating me with a book, and about how Mario was too afraid to do it hard enough because he didn't want to hurt me. So she said she would do it, since she didn't really like me that much anyway (I think she was kidding. Maybe not) So I told Mario I found someone else, and he got jealous, and was like "Get a book."
So I did and BAM! he smashed it. It popped and god oh god oh god oh god did it hurt. We totally should have videotaped that moment.
But it came back, and I'm mad and going for the surgery on it. It's going to suck, but that stupid ganglion cyst has been bugging me for too long and that little bastard has to go.
My main issue with the surgery is that it is going to leave a pretty bad-ass scar on my hand. I have to come up with some more interesting story about how I got the scar than the real story. Probably it will have something to do about how I escaped my punishment for thievery in the Middle East.
Monday, October 26, 2009
This week's book selection
I completely picked up my mom's habit of library book selection. I like to read a lot, and I'm a super fast reader, so I go through way too many books for a bookstore to be economically possible. So I go to the library about once a week, and come home with a stackful of future knowledge. It's a good time.
I don't read fiction. There have just been way too many times that I tried to read fiction, then I get to the end and think "Why the fuck do I care about that?" I don't want to read about pretend people. I don't get emotionally connected, and I'm way too literal-minded to ever care about interpreting what the author was really trying to say or any of that crap. People have offered book suggestions for years with statements like "I know you don't read fiction, but really, you'll love this." So I try, and just get burned by stupid characters, or writers trying to be fancy and just come off as pretentious, or lame endings.
When I go to the library, I head straight for the "New Non-fiction" section. A lot of times, I talk about random things that no one should care about and the response I'll get is "Why would you know that?" New Non-Fiction, my friend. It is a goldmine of useless knowledge. Old non-fiction is also good, but it's just too overwhelming with the stacks and stacks and stacks of books (although I worked in libraries for a total of 5 years, so I have an excellent working knowledge of the Dewey Decimal System). I like the new non-fiction because it is a small section of completely random topics.
I'm not choosy. I will grab any and all books that look like they might be at all interesting.
Here's what's on my reading agenda for this week:
1. "The Year of Living Like Jesus: My journey of discovering what Jesus would really do"
( chose this mostly because there is a really smiley picture of a guy with a Grizzly Adams beard on the cover. He looks happy, so I'm going to guess his journey turned out well.)
2. "Cults, Conspiracies & Secret Societies: The Straight Scoop on Freemasons, the Illuminati, Skull & Bones, Black Helicopters, the New World Order."
(You never know when you might run into a Bonesman)
3. "How to Be a Mentsh (& Not a Schmuck)"
No idea what this is about, but who could resist that title. Plus, it's by the author of "Born to Kvetch". Again, I haven't read that book, but want to based solely on the title.)
4. "French Women Don't Sleep Alone: Pleasurable Secrets to Finding Love"
Frankly, I'm kind of getting tired of being lectured about how much more awesome French women are than American women, and I'm not planning on looking for love any time soon but I like to be prepared.
5."Our Magnificent Bastard Tongue: The Untold History of English".
I really like books on language. I would so have majored in English if it weren't for all the classes making you read stupid fiction books.
6."The World has Curves: The Global Quest for the Perfect Body"
I am in the quest for the perfect body (it's not going well) so I'd like to hear how the rest of the world is handling their quest.
7."Loch Ness Monsters and Raining Frogs: The World's most Puzzling Mysteries Solved"
I mostly got this because it says on the title that the Mona Lisa is not in the Louvre. What? I went to the Louvre, and those lying French bastards showed me a Mona Lisa! What the hell!
8."The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite".
I almost skipped this one over becuase I thought it was a diet book, and I've read all that stuff already. But this is about overeating as a society, instead of just in my own belly, so it might be interesting
9."Alien Hand Syndrome: And other too-weird-not-to-be-true stories"
A jackpot of useless knowledge, I'm sure.
10."Lizzie Borden Took an Axe, or Did She?"
I don't know, Annette M. Holba. Do you know something I don't?
11. "I Have Something to Tell You: A Memoir"
I read the book jacket on this one and they ruined the secret. She wants to tell me she has Aids. And everyone else. Apparently she kept it secret for a long time, then wrote a book to tell everyone. I like secrets, so it should be a good read.
12. "The Tyranny of E-Mail: The 4000 Year Journey to your Inbox."
I think this is about how email and the internet and stuff is bad. I don't agree, but I'm open to discussion on the matter.
13. "Impossible Motherhood: Testimony of an Abortion Addict"
See? Being a Facebook addict is not the worst thing you could be.
14. "It's not all Flowers and Sausages: My adventures in second grade"
It's from a 2nd grade teacher. I liked 2nd grade, so maybe I'll like reading about other people's 2nd grades?
So anyway, in the next week or so, feel free to ask me about living like Jesus, freemasons,jewish characters, French women who sleep around a lot, the dark side of the English language, images of physical perfection, where the hell the Mona Lisa is, why Americans are fat, too-weird-not-to-be-true stories, theories on Miss Borden, keeping your AIDS a secret, how evil technology is, how to get addicted to abortions, or 2nd grade. .
I don't read fiction. There have just been way too many times that I tried to read fiction, then I get to the end and think "Why the fuck do I care about that?" I don't want to read about pretend people. I don't get emotionally connected, and I'm way too literal-minded to ever care about interpreting what the author was really trying to say or any of that crap. People have offered book suggestions for years with statements like "I know you don't read fiction, but really, you'll love this." So I try, and just get burned by stupid characters, or writers trying to be fancy and just come off as pretentious, or lame endings.
When I go to the library, I head straight for the "New Non-fiction" section. A lot of times, I talk about random things that no one should care about and the response I'll get is "Why would you know that?" New Non-Fiction, my friend. It is a goldmine of useless knowledge. Old non-fiction is also good, but it's just too overwhelming with the stacks and stacks and stacks of books (although I worked in libraries for a total of 5 years, so I have an excellent working knowledge of the Dewey Decimal System). I like the new non-fiction because it is a small section of completely random topics.
I'm not choosy. I will grab any and all books that look like they might be at all interesting.
Here's what's on my reading agenda for this week:
1. "The Year of Living Like Jesus: My journey of discovering what Jesus would really do"
( chose this mostly because there is a really smiley picture of a guy with a Grizzly Adams beard on the cover. He looks happy, so I'm going to guess his journey turned out well.)
2. "Cults, Conspiracies & Secret Societies: The Straight Scoop on Freemasons, the Illuminati, Skull & Bones, Black Helicopters, the New World Order."
(You never know when you might run into a Bonesman)
3. "How to Be a Mentsh (& Not a Schmuck)"
No idea what this is about, but who could resist that title. Plus, it's by the author of "Born to Kvetch". Again, I haven't read that book, but want to based solely on the title.)
4. "French Women Don't Sleep Alone: Pleasurable Secrets to Finding Love"
Frankly, I'm kind of getting tired of being lectured about how much more awesome French women are than American women, and I'm not planning on looking for love any time soon but I like to be prepared.
5."Our Magnificent Bastard Tongue: The Untold History of English".
I really like books on language. I would so have majored in English if it weren't for all the classes making you read stupid fiction books.
6."The World has Curves: The Global Quest for the Perfect Body"
I am in the quest for the perfect body (it's not going well) so I'd like to hear how the rest of the world is handling their quest.
7."Loch Ness Monsters and Raining Frogs: The World's most Puzzling Mysteries Solved"
I mostly got this because it says on the title that the Mona Lisa is not in the Louvre. What? I went to the Louvre, and those lying French bastards showed me a Mona Lisa! What the hell!
8."The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite".
I almost skipped this one over becuase I thought it was a diet book, and I've read all that stuff already. But this is about overeating as a society, instead of just in my own belly, so it might be interesting
9."Alien Hand Syndrome: And other too-weird-not-to-be-true stories"
A jackpot of useless knowledge, I'm sure.
10."Lizzie Borden Took an Axe, or Did She?"
I don't know, Annette M. Holba. Do you know something I don't?
11. "I Have Something to Tell You: A Memoir"
I read the book jacket on this one and they ruined the secret. She wants to tell me she has Aids. And everyone else. Apparently she kept it secret for a long time, then wrote a book to tell everyone. I like secrets, so it should be a good read.
12. "The Tyranny of E-Mail: The 4000 Year Journey to your Inbox."
I think this is about how email and the internet and stuff is bad. I don't agree, but I'm open to discussion on the matter.
13. "Impossible Motherhood: Testimony of an Abortion Addict"
See? Being a Facebook addict is not the worst thing you could be.
14. "It's not all Flowers and Sausages: My adventures in second grade"
It's from a 2nd grade teacher. I liked 2nd grade, so maybe I'll like reading about other people's 2nd grades?
So anyway, in the next week or so, feel free to ask me about living like Jesus, freemasons,jewish characters, French women who sleep around a lot, the dark side of the English language, images of physical perfection, where the hell the Mona Lisa is, why Americans are fat, too-weird-not-to-be-true stories, theories on Miss Borden, keeping your AIDS a secret, how evil technology is, how to get addicted to abortions, or 2nd grade. .
Sunday, October 25, 2009
I should probably brush my teeth or something.
Mario and I went to a wedding in Milwaukee, the first time we've gone away for a weekend together since we had multiple kids. A fine time was had by all.
But we crashed late, and we rose early to get on the road. It's not really that fun driving 4 hours in a slightly hungover state, but we did it. I have yet to take a shower, because really after driving 4 hours in a hungover state, that just feels like WAY too much work. I have smeary old eye makeup, formerly curled hair that is now a big rat's nest, and hangover breath. Good times. Oh, and I only packed one t-shirt for this weekend so I'm wearing the same shirt I've worn for the last three days in a row.
Pretty much the theme of this blog is how often I am disgustingly filthy.
But we crashed late, and we rose early to get on the road. It's not really that fun driving 4 hours in a slightly hungover state, but we did it. I have yet to take a shower, because really after driving 4 hours in a hungover state, that just feels like WAY too much work. I have smeary old eye makeup, formerly curled hair that is now a big rat's nest, and hangover breath. Good times. Oh, and I only packed one t-shirt for this weekend so I'm wearing the same shirt I've worn for the last three days in a row.
Pretty much the theme of this blog is how often I am disgustingly filthy.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Because I won't be able to do a post tomorrow
Here's a bonus for today:
It really pisses me off to no end when people feel the need to comment on the amount of time I spend on Facebook. I like Facebook a lot. There are lots of interesting things and it is a great way to keep in touch. I'm on and off it all day, and I a new status update pretty much once or twice a day. It's good times.
But people like to get all snotty about other people's computer usage. I get comments all the time about "Geez, you spend so much time on Facebook! You must be really bored!"
Here's the deal. I don't watch TV. I don't go out drinking. I don't sleep around with random dudes. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I don't even overeat. I try to avoid spending money and/or shopping. Plainly said, I have no vices. So with no vices to fill up my time, I spend the time that could be used on stupid pointless activities on Facebook, an equally stupid and pointless activity.
I don't waste my time more than anyone else, it's just that my time wasting is documented on Facebook. It's not even like I'm spending huge chunks of time on it. I pretty much have serious ADD issues at this stage of my life. I'm up, I'm down, I'm in the kitchen, I'm in the backyard. I don't stay in one place long. If I write a status update at 9 am, then take a quiz at 11 am, then comment on someone's post at 1 pm, then post pictures at 5 pm, then write another status update at 7pm, that doesn't mean I've been on facebook for 10 hours straight.
So whenever someone gets on their high horse criticizes me for playing around on Facebook and having no life, I pretty much imagine that they spend their non-facebook addicted life sitting in front of the tv, chowing down and/or smoking and/or drinking, while calling phone sex lines and partaking in compulsive online shopping. That's fine. I'm not judging.
It's a bit of a sore subject.
It really pisses me off to no end when people feel the need to comment on the amount of time I spend on Facebook. I like Facebook a lot. There are lots of interesting things and it is a great way to keep in touch. I'm on and off it all day, and I a new status update pretty much once or twice a day. It's good times.
But people like to get all snotty about other people's computer usage. I get comments all the time about "Geez, you spend so much time on Facebook! You must be really bored!"
Here's the deal. I don't watch TV. I don't go out drinking. I don't sleep around with random dudes. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I don't even overeat. I try to avoid spending money and/or shopping. Plainly said, I have no vices. So with no vices to fill up my time, I spend the time that could be used on stupid pointless activities on Facebook, an equally stupid and pointless activity.
I don't waste my time more than anyone else, it's just that my time wasting is documented on Facebook. It's not even like I'm spending huge chunks of time on it. I pretty much have serious ADD issues at this stage of my life. I'm up, I'm down, I'm in the kitchen, I'm in the backyard. I don't stay in one place long. If I write a status update at 9 am, then take a quiz at 11 am, then comment on someone's post at 1 pm, then post pictures at 5 pm, then write another status update at 7pm, that doesn't mean I've been on facebook for 10 hours straight.
So whenever someone gets on their high horse criticizes me for playing around on Facebook and having no life, I pretty much imagine that they spend their non-facebook addicted life sitting in front of the tv, chowing down and/or smoking and/or drinking, while calling phone sex lines and partaking in compulsive online shopping. That's fine. I'm not judging.
It's a bit of a sore subject.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)