I propose a "Don't judge the moms day"

I'm pretty sure that there is no other life vocation that is as open to public criticism as motherhood is.

Even the president---sure lots of people like to say he's (meaning whoever happens to be the president) making a ton of mistakes, but it's always from an arm's distance. Like "Well, he sucks, but I don't really know what it's like because I'm not the president and never will be)

But motherhood is another story. Everyone on earth has been a mother, has been married to a mother, might be a mother someday, has a sister who is a mother, or had a mother who was a mother. And therefore, people feel that they have the right to criticize another mother.

In public, it's impossible. If you don't discipline your kids, and let them run wild, then people get mad and think you're a lazy parent. If you do give them a talking to (or Irish-temper inspired bitching out, in my case. If you haven't experienced the Irish temper bitching out, it's pretty much the same as a normal bitching out, except at rapid speed and with many a Lord's name taken in vain) then people want to call child services on you. There's no winning.

A few weeks ago, I was taking the kids to the grocery store. I was walking through a busy parking lot with three kids, and I only had two hands (unfortunately) Dax was walking a little bit ahead and started to run just as a car was turning around the corner. So I dropped a little one's hand and grabbed for the closest part of Dax I could grab, which happened to be his shirt. While I was yanking on the back of his shirt collar to stop him from running into certain death, I was also yelling "Don't run! You have to walk!" (See previous blog entry for more on this particular subject).

As I was doing this, a woman was walking in the other direction and muttered to herself as she passed "Poor kid." I say that she muttered to herself, but she really muttered loudly enough so she could be sure that I could here and be lectured with her mommy criticism. Very passive aggressive.

So I turned around and bitched her out (again, Irish-temper style). I shouted to her "I know, I'm a horrible mother because I don't want my kid to get ran over. If you have something to say to me, say it to my face!" She didn't acknowledge me and kept walking.

Anyway, annoying.

So, in a related story, a few days later my husband and I took the kids out to dinner. Not to a fancy place---we know better. People get very persnickety about being seated next to us in restaurants. It's like they're just waiting for my kids to act up so they can be all offended. Anyway, this was a very family oriented restuarant and the kids were behaving well, maybe laughing too loudly or talking about poop too much for my liking. Anyway, I was telling Mario about my story about the passive aggressive criticizer.

"Seriously", I said, getting more and more animated and maybe a little louder "If you want to criticize my parenting, do it to my face! Don't try to talk behind my back!"

And, story finished, we returned to eating our dinners. A couple of minutes later, I happened to overhear someone at the table behind us.

DisclaimerL I had not been paying any attention to anything this table of 40-something women behind me had been saying. Until now.)

I heard a hushed whisper as one of the frumpalicious's said to another "Shh, I think she's still listening to us."

So what I think happened here is that they had been criticizing my parenting, overheard me say "If you want to criticize my parenting, do it to my face! Don't talk behind my back!" and assumed I had been eavesdropping on them, heard them criticizing and was bitching them out.

Whatever. Maybe I'm just paranoid (but I don't think so. Mario agreed that that table gave us a death stare as we left the restaurant.)

It's enough to drive you insane. Everyone has an opinion on your parenting. Yes, I will grab my kid by the collar if he's about to be roadkill. Yes, I will allow my kids to laugh and talk in a restaurant (at a decent level) Please, nominate me for worst mother in the world!