Monday, July 27, 2009

Poof

As of this post, I'm taking a sabbatical from having any sort of online presence. Facebook, myspace, blogging---all this virtual socialization is leaving me feeling very empty. It's not socialization, it's just all pretend. I need to either focus on making real-life friendships, or just come to terms with the fact that I am a social retard.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

MJ VIDS part II

I thought, should I really make a second blog of good Michael Jackson videos? Or will people think I'm a freak? Answers? Yes and Yes. So here goes:

1. Michael Jackson doing the robot over and over again. Enough said. It's awesomeness. He is the only person to ever actually do the robot and look like a robot.



2. Michael Jackson with an insane fan. Anyone else would have knocked this weirdo off the platform. Best part is at :53 when MJ changes the lyrics of the song to "Get this boy down please!"



3. Okay, break from MJ. This isn't Michael Jackson. I don't only watch Michael on youtube. I like to salivate over the Beatles. This is awesomeness. I want to see another remake of Lady Marmalade with Pink feat. Mya. feat. Christina. feat Missy. feat John Lennon



4. While we are on the subject of the Beatles, let's keep rolling with it. This is amazing. There are people today who still honestly, honestly, honestly think that the REAL Paul McCartney died in 1966 and was replaced with a body double. McCartney was on Letterman the other night and joked about it, but some people took the joke very seriously. (For the record, I totally think this is stupid, but even IF Paul is dead---and he's not--- and there's been this fake guy pretending to be paul for the last 40 years---and there hasn't---it would be okay by me. Post-1966 Paul is a way better musician and songwriter than pre-1966 Paul)



5. Back to MJ. Cute, embarassed MJ has his fly open onstage and has to do a quick fix (at 1:26) He freaking blushes! So cute! Plus I really like this song. Why is this song not more famous?



6. I don't even really know what's going on here, except that MJ has a bad case of the giggles



I think he's laughing at the guy's accent.

7. Kind of like here:



8. Pretty much worth it for Michael Jackson doing the robot to grocery store Muzak, and lusting over Elizabether Taylor---"That's what I'm talking about"



9. Aw! so sad!


10. Again, I feel like I should have 10 things in my list. Let me go find some awesomeness for you...



Like I said, awesomeness.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

So for the last few weeks, I haven't been doing any sort of blogging. Or facebook quizzes or any of the other time wasters that I usually like to do on the internet. And that's because all of my spare computer time has been devoted to obsessively watching old Michael Jackson videos on youtube.

I'm really mourning way too much. I couldn't figure out why I was so sad, but then John Mayer put it in to words for me. He talked on Larry King about how for his (and my) generation, we were incredibly lucky to have Thriller be the first music we were introduced to. In his twitter updates, he wrote "I think we'll mourn his loss as well as the loss of ourselves as children listening to Thriller on the record player." And that just struck me as why I'm sad.

In 1983, Michael Jackson WAS music. And when you're 4 years old, just learning about music, and culture and the world, Michael Jackson was amazing. He had a chimp for a best friend---what 5 year old wouldn't want that? He got to wear sparkly outfits and costumes and dance around like a maniac. I totally remember thinking that someday I'd get to go to Neverland and ride the rides, kind of like I fantasized about going to Disney World (still never been there!)

We didn't have the Thriller album at our house (I don't even think we had a record player until 1988, even)but that music was the soundtrack of my early childhood. And then Bad came out at a stressful time in my life and was a nice distraction to be able to listen to it, and read all the tabloid stories about Bubbles and the hyperbaric chamber and all that. Dangerous came out when I was in junior high and I loved all the crazy videos for it. (Although I watched the "In the Closet" video and was mortified and horrified to realize I was very attracted to Michael Jackson there. I didn't admit this secret for 15 years.)

But then he stopped making music, and our generation grew up and we kind of didn't need him. So when he died, it kind of does feel like he was truly Peter Pan. He was there for our childhoods, and kept trying to lure us back, but we grew up and didn't need him anymore. And like Peter Pan stopped coming to Wendy's window, Michael Jackson is gone and isn't coming back. So it's sad.

Anyway, like I said, I've been watching MJ on youtube. I've found some good stuff that I want to share.

This is actually a three parter, but this is the cutest part. He just seems so relaxed and sweet here.



This one is really cute too. I don't know the real story, but I'm guessing Diana Ross was teasing him about having bad breath, and Stevie Wonder offered him a mint, and Michael Jackson said "I can't eat a mint right now because there's a camera" but then he went for it. I don't know. Whatever. He's so adorable here



Again, with Diana Ross. I love this because he is so cute and embarassed about the word "sexy". I'm the same way. I can't use that word without giggling.



Start watching this from about 3:25 Being a very naturally shy person myself, I really think shy guys really are the cutest on earth (I used to be so shy that I barely spoke. When I went to my high school reunion, several people said "I've never heard you talk before." Now I overcompensate for my shyness by talking too much)



Watch this from 2:42 to 3:13. I love his laughing here and finding the humor in the situation. In no way does he seem to be making fun of his fan, but the situation obviously cracks him up. Even with his weird looks here, he's adorable when he laughs.



You already know how I feel about this one:



Ow!

I totally love to dance and sing along in the car to the radio. Can you imagine the pressure if you were dancing and singing along with the radio with freaking Michael Jackson in the car?



So corny and fake, but funny anyway



This song is kind of addictive. I don't even want to tell you how many times I've watched this trying to copy the moves. Plus, BEST COSTUMES EVER.



This one makes me laugh every time



So there we go. That's how I've been spending my internet time lately. My husband is feeling very threatened by my renewed love for MJ, I think. I have to watch this stuff on the sly, or he gets very irrated with me (but he gets irritated by 90% of the things I do/like so nothing new there.)

Friday, July 3, 2009

More MJ

I just wanted to add a few more random Michael Jackson thoughts to yesterday's blog. Not that the world will really benefit from my thoughts on Michael Jackson or not, but I really don't have anything else to write a blog about!

1. Michael Jackson is the first musician I really remember being aware of. I think I was about 4 when Billie Jean came out. Because we lived in a little hick town with no ability to get cable, I can't reminise about watching Thriller on MTV and trying to memorize it or anything, but I did like to play with my cousin's Michael Jackson Barbie doll.

2. Billie Jean is a really great song to play in Spinning class. When I was instructing Spinning classes, I always tried to get the members to request or suggest songs. I love music and really liked putting together fun and motivating playlists (or at least attempt to have fun and motivating playlists) I loved getting suggestions. Anyway, one lady asked that I play more Michael Jackson. I went over the MJ in my music collection and discovered that Billie Jean is the most perfect song ever for Spinning class. I used it as often as I could get away with and it always got the class going.

3. In kindergarten, I got yelled at my the playground aide for pretending to be Michael Jackson. It was snowy and cold, but a bunch of us were running around with one glove (or mitten) on so we could be Michael Jackson.

4. When I'm working out, my hair gets really sweaty. It also gets really curly, and I have a weird widow's peak that makes big strands of hair fall right in the middle of my forehead. All of this means when I work out, I look like I'm wearing a jheri curl Michael Jackson "Bad" era wig.

5. Vitiligo---Michael Jackson said he's white because he has vitiligo. I can see that. My mom has vitiligo, and it causes white patches on her skin. But not so much an issue for her since she's already white with pale skin. It's not even noticeable. But I can see how for a black person it would be very traumatic. Google images of vitiligo. It's really sad.

6. Nosejobs--I was watching the Martin Bashir documentary of Michael and he was talking about how his dad always made fun of his nose, and it made him self conscious and that's why he got a nosejob (or 17). I can totally relate to this. EVERY.PART.OF.IT. (well, except for the 17 nosejobs. I stopped at one)

7. My mom's conspiracy theory. Again, if you've read my myspace blog, or know my mom, you've already heard this theory. My mom has a foolproof theory about what made Michael Jackson go crazy: castration. Her theory is that when he was a little boy, he was such a huge moneymaker for the family that Joe Jackson didn't want to let his cash cow grow up. Back in the day, they used to castrate opera singers so their voices never changed. My mom thinks they did the same thing to Michael Jackson and that's why he had the high voice, no body hair, and was built like an 11-year old. Also, a castration would kill a sex drive, so maybe we can take his word that his sleeping with little kids was completely innocent (still, I wouldn't send my kids to Neverland for a sleepover). My husband scoffed at this theory the other day, saying that the autopsy would have shown that he had no balls, but my mom clarified her theory, saying he was "chemically" castrated---given female hormones. Who knows? But I do think there are a lot of good points to this theory. Also, Liza Minelli said something very cryptic the other day about how his friends all knew a secret about him and that once the autopsy was over, the shit would hit the wall (so to speak) Who knows? My mom's pretty smart. I believe her on this.

8. I'm going to become Joe Jackson. My son Quinn is a good dancer. I think I need ot make him the new Michael Jackson. In the Michael Jackson documentary, he talked about how his dad Joe would watch the Jackson 5 rehearse with a belt in his hand. If anyone messed up their dance moves, they'd get their ass kicked. Quinn's a really good dancer. He doesn't know any official dance moves, but he moves like Michael Jackson---like he doesn't have any bones and is made of rubber bands. It's pretty amazing. I think I need to get all Joe Jackson on him and make him learn some dances and then he can go be the new Michael Jackson and make me a gazillion dollars.

In fact, it's in the card that Quinn is destined to be the new Michael. His middle name is Michael, named after Michael Jackson.

(I'm kidding. His middle name is Michael, but he is so not named after Michael Jackson. Also, I'm not going to beat him. Please don't report me to the authorities.)

9. That's really all I have to say about MJ right now, but I feel like I should offer a solid 10 random thoughts so I've got to come up with two more. Let me think...

Oh yeah! My favorite Michael Jackson video! Definitely, definitely, definitely his duet with Paul McCartney---"Say Say Say"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gWvBXS2t4A

Mostly I just love it because I lust for Paul McCartney (what I wouldn't give to be Linda McCartney here), but it is good on the Michael Jackson front too. He's so normal looking here, but there are a few little pieces of weirdness. For one, the video is set in the 1910's, but MJ somehow got a Cosby sweater from the future. Two, LaToya Jackson plays his love interest. Three, Michael Jackson gets his first lesson in how to paint his face white from Paul McCartney.

Paul McCartney also dueted on "The Girl is Mine" with Michael Jackson around this era. That song kind of sucks (especially the spoken word portion. Cheesy fries), but still it's nice to see them being good pals. Which makes it really annoying that Michael Jackson went and bought the Beatles song catalog right out from under Paul McCartney. That was kind of a jackholey thing to do.

10. Weird Al Yankovic---I bet he's really sad about Michael Jackson. His career was built on "Eat It" and "Fat". Fat is one of the best videos in all of video history. Sometimes when I start to eat too much crap, I imagine that I expand just like Weird Al, gaining 200 lbs in 30 seconds. I love this video It's so wrong.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqz1ojIQTBk

Thursday, July 2, 2009

I would be sadder if Paul McCartney died...

But I'm still pretty freaking sad about Michael Jackson dying.

I just want to share my Michael Jackson story. Those of you who followed me on my old myspace blog have heard this, but I'll share it again.

I went to Exeter, England with my husband on one of his business trips. We were signed up to meet in front of the big cathedral for a "ghost tour"---a walking tour of all the haunted hotspots in Exeter. Sounds pretty great, right? Yeah, I know.

Anyway, we were waiting for the tour to begin. We noticed that a big crowd of people was forming in front of a hotel next to the cathedral. (The hotel's claim to fame---according to the ghost tour lady---was that the Beatles stayed there once. I love me some Beatles, so I loved that hotel)

Anyway, we saw this crowd so we went over to see what was going on. We asked someone and they said Michael Jackson was going to be coming to the hotel. Michael Jackson? What? Why would Michael Jackson be in rinky dink little Exeter? It sounded kind of unbelieveable, but we joined in the group to wait around and see if the King of Pop actually showed up. The ghost tour lady was very irritated that her tour was being held up by Michael Jackson and said if he wasn't there in 15 minutes, the tour would begin anyway. (The English are very efficient and like their shed-jules)

We waited for about 14 minutes, and a big black car rounded the corner, with bodyguards jogging alongside of it. We in the crowd got very excited and lo and behold, the car stopped in front of the hotel and out came Michael Jackson.

I think I was about 10-15 feet away from him. My main impression was that he completely looked like a cartoon character. He didn't even look real. Maybe it's just that I'd seen him in so many videos and tabloids that it was just surreal, or maybe it was because his face was made of plastic. Probably a little of both.

He was very happy and smiley and waved at the crowd and went in the hotel. There was another guy that started waving at the crowd too, like he was famous, but no one around me knew who he was. He totally acted like he thought he was a celeb---we later found out that it was David Blaine. I don't know why David Blaine was hanging with MJ, but I've always kind of been annoyed at David Blaine since then. He really had a big ego to wave at Michael Jackson's crowd like we actually knew who he was, or cared who he was. (Sorry, I get really annoyed at egos)

So that's my Michael Jackson story. I wish I had photos, but I forgot my camera. That sounds like I'm making up this story, but seriously, who would make up this story? It's pretty random. Here's my proof that Michael Jackson was in Exeter.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/devon/news_features/2002/michael_jackson.shtml

I guess I can't really prove I was in Exeter. Whatever. I saw Michael Freaking Jackson.