So for the last few weeks, I haven't been doing any sort of blogging. Or facebook quizzes or any of the other time wasters that I usually like to do on the internet. And that's because all of my spare computer time has been devoted to obsessively watching old Michael Jackson videos on youtube.

I'm really mourning way too much. I couldn't figure out why I was so sad, but then John Mayer put it in to words for me. He talked on Larry King about how for his (and my) generation, we were incredibly lucky to have Thriller be the first music we were introduced to. In his twitter updates, he wrote "I think we'll mourn his loss as well as the loss of ourselves as children listening to Thriller on the record player." And that just struck me as why I'm sad.

In 1983, Michael Jackson WAS music. And when you're 4 years old, just learning about music, and culture and the world, Michael Jackson was amazing. He had a chimp for a best friend---what 5 year old wouldn't want that? He got to wear sparkly outfits and costumes and dance around like a maniac. I totally remember thinking that someday I'd get to go to Neverland and ride the rides, kind of like I fantasized about going to Disney World (still never been there!)

We didn't have the Thriller album at our house (I don't even think we had a record player until 1988, even)but that music was the soundtrack of my early childhood. And then Bad came out at a stressful time in my life and was a nice distraction to be able to listen to it, and read all the tabloid stories about Bubbles and the hyperbaric chamber and all that. Dangerous came out when I was in junior high and I loved all the crazy videos for it. (Although I watched the "In the Closet" video and was mortified and horrified to realize I was very attracted to Michael Jackson there. I didn't admit this secret for 15 years.)

But then he stopped making music, and our generation grew up and we kind of didn't need him. So when he died, it kind of does feel like he was truly Peter Pan. He was there for our childhoods, and kept trying to lure us back, but we grew up and didn't need him anymore. And like Peter Pan stopped coming to Wendy's window, Michael Jackson is gone and isn't coming back. So it's sad.

Anyway, like I said, I've been watching MJ on youtube. I've found some good stuff that I want to share.

This is actually a three parter, but this is the cutest part. He just seems so relaxed and sweet here.



This one is really cute too. I don't know the real story, but I'm guessing Diana Ross was teasing him about having bad breath, and Stevie Wonder offered him a mint, and Michael Jackson said "I can't eat a mint right now because there's a camera" but then he went for it. I don't know. Whatever. He's so adorable here



Again, with Diana Ross. I love this because he is so cute and embarassed about the word "sexy". I'm the same way. I can't use that word without giggling.



Start watching this from about 3:25 Being a very naturally shy person myself, I really think shy guys really are the cutest on earth (I used to be so shy that I barely spoke. When I went to my high school reunion, several people said "I've never heard you talk before." Now I overcompensate for my shyness by talking too much)



Watch this from 2:42 to 3:13. I love his laughing here and finding the humor in the situation. In no way does he seem to be making fun of his fan, but the situation obviously cracks him up. Even with his weird looks here, he's adorable when he laughs.



You already know how I feel about this one:



Ow!

I totally love to dance and sing along in the car to the radio. Can you imagine the pressure if you were dancing and singing along with the radio with freaking Michael Jackson in the car?



So corny and fake, but funny anyway



This song is kind of addictive. I don't even want to tell you how many times I've watched this trying to copy the moves. Plus, BEST COSTUMES EVER.



This one makes me laugh every time



So there we go. That's how I've been spending my internet time lately. My husband is feeling very threatened by my renewed love for MJ, I think. I have to watch this stuff on the sly, or he gets very irrated with me (but he gets irritated by 90% of the things I do/like so nothing new there.)