Mmm, hamburgers...

This blog is completely going to be just rambling. Like I said, if I don't post something everyday, I will completely slack off and not do it at all. So you can run off right now, or stick with me for some pointless rambling. This is just going to be a pretty standard afternoon for me. Which means boring. You've been warned.

Yesterday I was reading a library book and it mentioned that a family was going to have a grillout. And it got me to thinking that I haven't had grilled hamburgers in a long time. I actually haven't had a hamburger period in, geez, months if not a year. (I kind of hop on and off the vegetarian train. Most of the time I avoid meat, but if I'm craving it, I go for it because I figure it means I must be iron deficient or something)

So I decided that it would be a perfect night for a grillout on the deck.

We don't have a grill so after I dropped Dax off at preschool, I took Quinn and Heath on a grill shopping expedition. I've been wanting one for years for for some reason we've never bought one. Grill shopping was really overwhelming for me. I couldn't figure out the difference between a gas grill that cost $700 and a gas grill that cost $70. They're bigger, yeah, but how many hamburgers does someone really need? I went to Sears, Lowe's and Menards trying to figure out how to select a grill and never really figured it out.

Fortunately at Menard's, there was another customer who saw my confusion and pointed to a $70 grill and recommended it. He said he had had it for years and used it all year round and it was easy to use and blah blah blah. We talked about his grilling for about 10 minutes and he said his old one needed to be replaced and he was buying the exact same one again. He totally sold me on it, and I was all excited about only spending $70, then he said "Oh, but I bought the last one. Sorry."

Urgh! So the salesman came over and tried to help me pick out another one and he couldn't really explain the diffences between the $700 ones and the #70 ones either. I picked one out for $129, then asked how much it was for assembly. He said they didn't offer assembly. Agh! No way will I buy any sort of appliance that I have to assembe! Especially one that will be connected to a flammable propane gas tank! Anything I've ever assembled has fallen apart, and Mario's not any better. (We're so smart in so many ways, but basically have the same level of expertise with tools as those chimps that use rocks to open their coconuts.)

So I told him (nicely) "Forget it" and I just gave up on the grilling, and hamburgers, and curing my iron deficiency, and ideas of family togetherness of dining outside on a beautiful spring day.

We wandered around Menard's for a while. I saw this kind of kit thing for making a raised garden bed, and decided it would make a good sandbox. I've been trying to figure out a sandbox for a while. When Dax was a toddler, we had one of the Little Tikes plastic sandboxes, but all it did was collect a ton of rain and it was too heavy to dump out so it was basically our own little private mosquito breeding ground. Plus, it was tiny so I know if I had to have three kids sitting on top of each other in it, there would be some brawling. They need their space. Anyway, this raised flower bed was big--4x4. And it didn't have a bottom so I guessed the rain would drain out of it.

About this time, the grill salesman found me and said he forgot to tell me he could sell me the floor model of the sold out grill. Yay! Already assembled and cheap!

So I got the grill and the faux sandbox and went to checkout. I still needed sand and a propane tank. They were out of propane tanks, and they told me I needed to go to another area to get a ticket for sand. Eh, I said. I'll get it later. Too much work.

On my way out of the Menard's parking lot, I noticed that Hy-vee had propane tanks, so I went in the liquor store entrance (it was next to the propane tanks) and bought one. The cashier guy was like "Where's your older boy? Don't you have three?" I get that kind of stuff all the time. I swear I had never seen this guy before in my life, but he recognized me. I have never been in that Hy-Vee liquor department ever, so it's not like I'm some lush that drags her kids in to buy booze with her. I'm really bad with faces (but I'm good with names. I will remember a name for the rest of my life. And astrological signs too. But not faces. I could never be a politician.)

I drove REALLY carefully home because the idea of having a big can of noxious gas in the trunk kind of creeped me out. I unloaded my purchases and got back in the car to pick Dax up from school.

I actually had a few spare minutes, so I decided to be efficient and stop at Teske's to pick up sand for the sandbox. I also like to look at the puppies in Teske's. They had the cutest little happy pug puppy and I literally squealed when I saw him. This old lady standing next to me gave me the dirtiest look, but jeez lady, if you can't squeal when a little baby puppy is jumping around trying to kiss your fingers, when can you squeal? There were also these really cute chihuahua/daschund mixes. They cost $600? How does that work? How do you charge $600 for a mutt? The boys loved the puppies too, and I tried to coach them into telling their dad "I want a puppy!" when he got home. (I want a dog so bad, but Mario thinks we have enough wild animals running around the house, pooping and peeing everywhere)

The guy asked how much sand I wanted, and I guessed six bags. It seemed freakishly expensive--$36 dollars! What? But I haven't priced sand lately so I just accepted it. When I got the sand in the car and read the square footage it covered, I realized that six bags wouldn't cut it. I actually needed 15 more bags for my huge giant sandbox. Agh! At $5 a pop, 15 more bags was not an option.

As I waited for Dax's class to get back from their field trip, I called Menards and asked their prices. $1.57 per bag. Teske's is a rip off (but I guess if they charge $600 for hybrid dog, they think they can charge $5 for one of the most abundant materials on earth) I ordered my extra 15 bags of sand over the phone.

While we were waiting in the van for Dax's class to return, Quinn said "I need new pants!" He had peed. Totally my fault since it had been a lot of running around with no potty break. Then within 30 seconds, Heath announced "I need new pants too!" Agh! Yuck Yuck Yuck! I actually had some spare pants in the car but no undies or diapers so they were kind of going commando (and going commando is REALLY bad if they decide to poop their pants. I know that from experience. Theirs, not mine, I mean)

Dax showed up and we headed out to Menard's and picked up our sand. I literally have a ton of sand now in my car, waiting to be unloaded. (I don't think I need to worry about going to the gym today) We stopped at Fareway for hamburger because everyone knows you buy your meat there (especially if you only eat meat once in a while--make it worth your while) That was kind of a disaster in and of itself, since all the car carts were gone. I need the car carts. The car carts hold two kids. With a regular cart, I can hold one kid and then I have two freerange kids. It's really hard. I passed a lady in an aisle who had one of the so-needed car carts and I shot her some dagger eyes. She was shopping with an approximately 8 year old girl who wasn't even riding in the car. Glare. Of. Death. Leave the car carts for the moms with a carfull of kids, okay?

Finally we got home and set up the grill and had our delicious hamburgers, sitting outside on the deck. It was very worth it.

(Is anyone still reading this? Why? I told you it would be boring! I was right, eh?)