I've been traumatized by the picture on my driver's license

You are looking at the worst picture of me that's ever been taken, ever. And I have been forced by the state of Illinois to carry it around with me for the last four years.

I'm not lying here...there have been times when I've shown my ID to store clerks/bouncers what have you and they have physically recoiled. This picture is scary. I've gotten a lot of "Wow, you lost a lot of weight! This doesn't look like you at all." Which should be nice, because I did lose a lot of weight. This picture was pretty much taken at my biggest non-pregnant state. I don't look like that, but their disgust is a little embarassing because for quite a while I did go around looking like that. So they're insulting me,just like 4 years later.

To my credit, my skin tone was not actually the shade of ripe banana in real life. That's totally the DMVs fault.

The hair is all weird because I totally didn't think I'd have to take a new picture that day. I just wanted to change my address. My hair was all crazy and sweaty and I thought---foolishly---that pulling it back in the front would be a better look. I thought wrong. I'm smiling way too much because while they were taking the picture, a little 2-year old Dax was running off wildly in the opposite direction. That clenched teeth smile is saying "Please take this picture so I can go chase down my child before he is abducted by a kidnapper."

But finally, after 4 years, I'm done with it. I renewed yesterday, and I no longer have to carry that around anymore. My new picture isn't great, but at least my hair looks good, my skin is a human flesh-tone, and I'm not obese. That's enough for me. I do look super stoned, and very irritated---it kind of reminds me of a 1950s prostitute's mugshot--- but I'll take that over fat oompa loompa.

Edit: so my husband saw that I put my picture up on my laptop while I was working on it. He asked me why I had it on there. I said "Because it's funny how horrible it is?" He got mad at me and was all like "You were beautiful there. I don't like you making fun of how you used to look. That's insulting". That's very sweet of him, but I asked him if he liked me being all yellow with sweat head and he admitted I did not actually look like that all the time, and that it wasn't a good picture, but I was still very pretty to him when I was bigger. He's an awesome guy, that guy of mine.

Edit #2: As requested, the new and improved picture. It's not good either. But an improvement, so I'm not complaining. I look a bit soul-less, but at least my hair looks good.